Frequently Asked Questions
Question: How much of the game is mental, in your opinion?
Jared Tendler: I'd say around 30 percent. The old Bobby Jones quote, "Competitive golf is mainly played on a 5-inch course between the ears," has been taken wrongly for years. It may be true for professional golfers of mostly equal ability. But if golf was mainly mental, Deepak Chopra and the Dalai Lama would be great golfers - and they most certainly are not!
I mean, confidence without skill is just delusion. So how important are positive and negative thoughts? How important is confidence? It's important in that it opens up receptors to success. I still put the most weight on technique and its soundness.
Most of the game is technique. But the mental side is critical when it comes to acquiring and implementing technique. The mental side is important when it comes to learning skills, understanding your own game, and effectively managing the course. Golf has lots of ups and downs by its nature, and you have to be able to handle those, maintain a clear focus and manage your emotions. That allows the technique to come through.
Q: How does your technique differ from others in your field?
JT: First and foremost, I'm able to base what I do on actual experience. I've played golf at a high level; I've played in pro tournaments. So I understand the realities of golf and what the game is capable of doing to you, and what we're capable of doing to it.
I know where my work is limited. Sometimes you just need to see a swing coach. There's no secret to my work. I'm not handing you a magic wand to transform your game. But I do point out the reality of how the mind operates. I challenge the assumptions of things that are flat-out wrong when tested in reality. I can change your perspective on something you're trying to accomplish.
I feel like I'm putting people on a path, giving them the process to actually make improvement, not the process to fake it. Frustration builds up when we know we're capable of doing something, but we don't know what's wrong. I make that an efficient process.
Ultimately, instructors see me as an ally, not a threat. If people play golf well, they want to play more. They improve once they have the ability to improve. I'm the anti-attrition guy. I keep people in golf because they're not frustrated.
Q: What are the most common mental blocks that you encounter?
JT: The most obvious one is dealing with yips and shanks. Somewhere along the line they had a negative experience that makes them doubt they can do what they need to. If they have poor technique on top of that, the doubt is mind numbing. They can develop poor focus or a lack of clear preparation. They get a poor result because they're not prepared, and they have a lack of understanding as to how it happened. It becomes like a tumor of doubt.
The overarching thing that I see is a general lack of self-confidence. People are looking to improve, but they have fears. They get into pressure situations and they can't perform up to their abilities. They are totally thrown off by negative thoughts.
Q: How should a golfer know it's time to get help from someone like you?
JT: When you're stuck. When you're not able to find the answers yourself. You've gone for swing lessons and you have good technique, and it shows up more than half the time. At that point, doubt, anger and frustration are more relevant to your performance. You know you need some help if you keep making the same mistake over and over again; if you know better but can't act on it.
The swing is only a quarter of a successful game. The other three factors are course management and strategy, how you practice, and the mental game. I help clear the way for those three factors.
Q: Where does the process begin with you?
JT: We do a thorough assessment. I have my clients fill out a questionnaire that makes them think about their game, and also about how they handle a variety of life situations. At the end of the first session, we have a thorough assessment and a plan for how we're going to go forward.
Q: What is the process like for a typical client?
JT: Well, as I mentioned, the first meeting is the questionnaire and assessment. From there I start challenging assumptions, breaking down the problem, trying to fundamentally change its nature so we can eliminate it entirely. This is not a band-aid. Much of psychology, I feel, is a band-aid way of managing, not resolving.
Then we go on the golf course or wherever we can get a look at the client's game to see things in action. I think I'm then able to understand the finer details that make this person unique. I see the way they make adjustments in real time.
The sessions are always one hour. By the end of that second session, we have a sufficient rapport.
In sessions 3-6, we try to resolve. They must go and work on things on their own. They have to acquire experience, work with what's been given them. That way we get feedback. Time between appointments varies depending on how often the person is able to put into play the things they are working on. Ideally, that time is not longer than 3 weeks, but life happens and we adjust.
Q: How long does it typically take someone to acquire the skills you want him or her to have?
JT: It generally depends on a few factors: the severity of the problem, the client's openness to suggestions, and their willingness to work on their issues. Most of the time it takes between three and six sessions. Sometimes it's just one or two sessions, but that's very rare.
Q: How does a client feel once they're arrived where you want them to be mentally?
JT: They're often surprised at how easy things are. They've been taking the hard route. Now they realize things don't need to be so hard, and they've realized their way of going about things is inefficient. Information deficits are deal breakers in the ability to solve problems on their own. Now they have information, and they feel relief, a sense of fun, and a sense of simplicity. It's always fun to feel a sense of being capable of great things.
Q: Are you told the techniques you teach carry over from golf into day-to-day life?
JT: I'm told that all the time, and I get a lot of satisfaction from that. I especially hear that from junior golfers and their families. I was working with a top junior who is just 10 years old, and his dad told me their communication improved significantly. He said his son no longer lied to him; that they were more open and expressive with one another. In general, I find that my clients' confidence improves greatly. It's a function of the increase in their personal competence. They're more focused. They're better and clearer decision makers, and are more relaxed and calm on the course and off.
Q: What if I don't live in your area?
JT: We can work over the phone. Sure meeting in person is preferable, but I don't need to see your golf swing to help your game. The assessment that you'll complete before our first session helps me to have a good sense of what needs to be accomplished to achieve your goals. The sessions and the process are the same as if we were meeting in person.
Payment is easily made through PayPal. You always have the option to travel, and I may also happen to travel to your area.
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